chestnut-nest

owlmylove:

therewerestarsintheireyes:

so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL

read it here:

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

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This is so weird, and yet I’m reading it. First of all, if this so called fanfiction is re-writing HP because she doesn’t want to her kids to be exposed to witchcraft, then how does she explain the food that ‘magically’ appeared on the dining table in chapter 3 and 4? So you just prayed and food suddenly appeared in front of you? How convenient. Second, her version of Voldermort is someone who’s ‘pushing an agenda in congress which will stop us from practicing our faith freely.’ To which her Harry replied: “But that is what our founding fathers built this nation for!” Harry cried indignantly. “The freedom of religion!” Uuugh…she’s the one who said to her ‘haters’ if you aren’t converted by the time this story’s over. Now who’s pushing her agenda now? And lastly, do Christians just randomly quote Bible verse on their daily conversations?? Brah..

So far on The Strain:

1. I thought I’d like Eph. But no. He’s an idiot. Why is he the lead character again?

2. Eph’s kid. Stupid kid with Beiber hair. Is he gonna be like Carl in early season of TWD?

3. Fet!! Yeah!! You go with your UV light bomb.

4. AUGUSTIN ELIZALDE IS MY FAVOURITE NO DOUBT I WOULD TOTALLY WATCH A SERIES ONLY ABOUT HIM BEING A BADASS SLAYER